Mid week humour...

Think you're having a Bad Day?

Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

Still having a Bad Day??

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "Return to Sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to
bits.

There now, feeling Better ?

Thoughts

Things that make you go hhmm.... 27

Stupid people......

As some may know, I do tech support in a call center.

I have heard racism from all sorts of people but stupid knows no race although I get a pretty one sided view of it at this point.

I am Canadian as are the people I work with. The original nationality of some of these people has been brought into question by the people I have as customers.

One gentleman is East Indian and a good friend of mine. I have had my customers say derogatory things about him and I enjoy nothing more than putting them in their place. My words to them, "That gentleman is a very good friend of mine and we are equals. He has the same ability as I do to resolve any issue you may have with your product, and he is quite good at it!"

They tend to shut up after that and if they get to him first, they tend to think before talking.

I was talking to an "American" lady yesterday. That is what she referred to herself as. She did nothing more than rag on the company and about how it outsources. When she asked where I was located and I replied with "Canada", she noted that she had been screwed by a Canadian on an eBay sale and then proceeded to rag on the Canadians.

Where the hell does she think Canada is?

How long would it take her to find a US citizen that would put up with the unreasonable tirade she was on?

How long would it take her to find another company to purchase from if they had to raise the cost of their products because of on shore support? Not long, I'm thinking.

Now, I am not ragging on the US citizens but that is the nation whose products I support. I have done support for Canadians and have run into the same kind of foolishness.

The next time you contact support, think before you speak, that maybe your neighbor you're talking to and you may be making a point that is pointless.

hhmmm....

Thoughts

Graffitti Monday... 10

I didn't realize how much detail is in some of these things. I will be looking more closely as there are some lighter stings in there that can prove most interesting.

Have a great monday people!

Thoughts

YIPPEE!!!!!!

I can now get back to the blog postings.

I have won at the NANOWRIMO thingy this year.

Wonder if I'll be able to do it again next year too?

Anyway, congratulate me, you may get to read the damn thing somewhere down the road.

Now it is time for sleep.....

Have a great Sunday!




Thoughts

And now for something completely different....

A Woman's Prayer:


Dear Lord, I pray for:

Wisdom, To understand a man.

Love, To forgive him and;

Patience, For his moods.

Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength

I'll just beat him to death.


Good thing the wife didn't have the strength before she went her way.......

Thoughts

Things that make you go hhmm.... 26

I don't have friends, I don't have family, I have acquaintances.

What is a friend?

What is a relative?

In my years I have come to find that they are merely people you know but are only there when they want something.

I am adopted and the only reason the one brother came looking for us was to find out if one of the unknown siblings had any money.

The one sister called and left a message on my voicemail after I haven't heard from her for over five years. Her inquiry? I have a problem and wonder if you could look at my Pentium. hhmmm...

I don't have wheels right now as I haven't the funds to keep a set on the road. I walk every where I need to go and went to a grocery store last weekend. I met what I thought was a friend while there but I guess I was mistaken. It was another acquaintance. He knew that I had no wheels and he has a minivan but no offer was forth coming to give me a quick little lift to my house with the groceries I had. In fact, after a quick hello and chat about coffee, he dissappeared, presumably to avoid that very offer. hhmmm....

I only know people and people know me for what they can take from me. Sounds a bit cynical but that is what my life experience has taught me.

I do know a couple of people that help out whenever they can and know that they are helping themselves as much as they are helping me.

I guess it is the way of the world. Each and every one on this planet is here for themselves. Even the philanthropic people are here only to make themselves look better.

The next time some asks you for some help or something, think about it.

The next time someone offers you some help in any way, think about it. I have...

hhmmm....

Thoughts

HAPPY HNT!!!!!!

This is my hand holding a prize for some stats for a member of the team on our floor.

It was about a $120 champagne glass filled with gourmet jelly beans. The idea was to earn chances to guess the number of beans and the closest won the glass and everything in it.

I would like to have had it, fits my hand just right doesn't it?



Thoughts

Ode to the Nice Guys

This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003


Thoughts

Having a Bad Day????

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaskawas $80,000.00.

At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a Bad Day????

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to
jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.

Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

Thoughts

Graffitti Monday... 9

Happy Graffitti Monday! Again.... Maybe....

Things that make you go hhmm.... 25

The next in the line of hhmmm...'s

Bicycle shorts and helmets.

Now I can understand the people in the big important races using these items so they can win the races.

I can also understand why they would be wearing them in practising for said races.

But my curiosity got me when, while doing my laundry, I saw an older gentleman going by on a bike wearing a shiny black streamlined helmet and a yellow and black spandex full body suit.

Do these feel that good that they feel the need to show the family jewels to all?

Do they jsut feel good and maybe they get off while wearing them..... eeewwww.....?

Do you really think it gives you a speed advantage when you are stopping at the traffic lights on every second cross street?

Do they think they look good and are just trying to turn on the onlookers?

Come on people, if your not in a race or practicing for a race then you just look like damn fools.

And especially the old geezers that are trying to regain their youth.

I'm young enough to do some goofy things, old enough to know better than do other goofy things and at a point where I don't care what others think of me but really, not gonna do it and you can't make me....

hhmmm....

Have a great Sunday....

Thoughts

Things that make you go hhmm.... 24

Is it not time to qualify the statements made by the asses that are reporting on the news?

A person has made the statement that there are too many Pit Bulls and vagrants downtown to be safe. He also stated that he would never take his children downtown because of the conditions.

I challenge the ass to meet a guy who goes downtown every week and to show me all of these so called Pit Bulls.

I admit that there are some less savoury people down there but most can simply be ignored. As for the dogs, I own a Pit Bull and in my walks downtown, I have not seen a single Pit Bull in more than a few months. Once again, some uninformed, ignorant hate monger trying to turn the attention away fromn the real issues.

He is the same person who says that parking is not the big issue.

As one of the people who used to work on the block right next to city hall, I know that the parking situation in the downtown is absolutely assinine as well as the attitude of the people making decisions on that parking.

Sean Kelly once again shows his irresponsile, arrogant, ignorant, hate mongering ways.

This is a guy with no respect for anyone or anything.

One day last summer, a listener called to complain to this ass and inform him that this listener had stopped listening to his radio station because of the attitude of sean. His response was to ask his collegues "did we lose a point in market share?"

Apparently individual listeners don't count.

This is the attitude that puts companies out of business.

This morning, sean made note that it was a "high level morning show meeting" that he had attended to allow a young groups sound to be heard on "his" station.

Some arrance in this city?

hhmmm.......

Thoughts

48 Laws Of Power.... 19/20

Law 19

Know Who You’re Dealing with – Do Not Offend the Wrong Person

There are many different kinds of people in the world, and you can never assume that everyone will react to your strategies in the same way. Deceive or outmaneuver some people and they will spend the rest of their lives seeking revenge. They are wolves in lambs’ clothing. Choose your victims and opponents carefully, then – never offend or deceive the wrong person.

Law 20

Do Not Commit to Anyone

It is the fool who always rushes to take sides. Do not commit to any side or cause but yourself. By maintaining your independence, you become the master of others – playing people against one another, making them pursue you.


Thoughts

HAPPY HNT!!!!!

That time of week already????




My daughter got a new watch and just had to take a pic of it.

Have great HNT day all.....

Thoughts

Another bit of humour

Sorry about the quality of the last couple of posts, we have a few more hours at work, these are mandatory and I am working on the NaNoWriMo. Bear with me for a while, I'll get through this.
And without further ado........


A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit-bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.

The woman couldn't stand her curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss", I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My husband's."

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Get in the line."

Happy humpday!

Thoughts

Random Joke

One night Jerry brought home a dozen red roses to his wife.

"How lovely, dear," she said. "What's the occasion?"

"I want to make love to you," he said simply.

"Not tonight, dear. I have a headache," answered his wife.

The next night Jerry came home with a big box of chocolates and explained that he wanted to make love with her.

"I'm awfully tired, honey," said his wife. "Not tonight."

Every night for a week Jerry brought home something, but each time his wife's answer was no.

Finally he came home with six black kittens with little red bows around their necks and handed them to his wife.

"How adorable, Jerry!" she exclaimed. "But what are they for?"

The husband replied, "These are six little pallbearers for your dead pussy."

Thoughts

Graffitti Monday... 8

Wow, another week gone....




Happy Graffitti Monday!!!

Thoughts

Random

I think it is time for a random photo posting. I am writing in the NANOWRIMO and just kicked out about 10,000 words, need a break from tyoing, so enjoy.......

One of the last pictures from my current camera, flash is done. Just waiting to send it in for replacement.

A scupture that my daughter took a pic of. Not sure what it is supposed to be.

And of course, a little humour.

Thoughts

Things that make you go hhmm.... 23

City sidewalks....

Now, one would think these were put in place to assist in the movement of pedestrians.

Not so!. They are merely there for an attractive urban look and a break between the lawns and the roads.

If they were actually for the pedestrians, would they not try to ensure that they are in good operational condition?

In a couple of places on the one I use to get to work, if it rains more than a couple of minutes at any one time, you wind up having to either walk though the 2 inches of water trapped in those sections or take yer chance walking on peoples lawns. The other option would be to walk on the street.

Think about the possibilities in winter too. Water build up and poof instant skating rinks.

And for winter, the city purchased a new snowblower rig for clearing the sidewalks.

I could kick more snow off the sidewalks by merely walking on them.

An when would you think they should be cleared of snow? Say mid-morning after everyone has had to trudge through all of the snow or walked along the edge of the road, avoiding traffic as best you can or before they would be most likly to get the most traffic, say 6 or 7 am.

Not to mention the sections that have heaved due to winter frost.

I wonder if they city wound up with a multi-million dollar lawsuit, if it would change the way they care for the sidewalks? Apparently that is not a great worry to them...

Hhmmm....

Thoughts

Things that make you go hhmm.... 22

Automated phone systems.....

What do you think of these damnable things?

I was trying to contact my credit card company and my internet service provider last weekend and ran into these things.

First, the one for the isp asks which official language you would prefer, not so bad. Then it asks for the phone number with the area code, still not really bad but I do have a sight impairment, still, it is easier than the credit card one. It then asks for the "pin" number.

This is the stupid part. It tells you where to find the pin but that number certainly is not what it is looking for. And I can't find any other number that works at all but all of that is kind of moot. It then thanks you, whether you punched a number in or not and then kicks you to the support agent. So why have this step if it is not needed? Are they figuring on a good number of people being stymied and hanging up? Fewer people to deal with? Not sure.

The next one is the credit card company. All you need is the number of the card and you can find out the balance and how much credit is available. This would be a good thing for those that steal these. Not so great for the card holder. Once you get by this you can actually just hit the "0" and get by the rest. At least they gave a way out. So, that really makes the rest of it a waste of money, doesn't it?

One other company that I encountered was for a piece of electronic equipment that had an issue. This particular line required verbal responses to work. I could not get this stupid piece of crap to understand what I was saying. How are you to know what response it will take to get you where you want to go? I am a senior level technician and nothing obvious could get me through it. Thank Christ I could punch the "0" here too, to get to a real person quickly.

A waste of money? Could they put the money to a better use? I think the answer is yes. Get an extra person to answer the calls and avoid all of the irate people just from dealing with the damn phone systems in place.

Thoughts

Happy HNT!

Gonna have to dig through some old pics for at least next week, gotta get the camera fixed.





This is the third and final ear pic I have for now. Who knows what body part will be next.......

Not sure just how happy it is going to be here, temp is to drop to below freezing tonight...

Have a great day people!

Thoughts

Found stuff

Ideas for torturing an unwelcome roommate...

1. I would host cock fighting matches in the garage. Long spur style, of course.
2. I would have unprotected sex with homeless, French whores suffering from Tourettes
Syndrome on his Bowflex. This would be after he catches me scrubbing the toilet with his
toothbrush.
3. I would buy the world’s loudest vibrator because, “Sometimes at night I really need to get off
to burn off some of my energy since I have a lot of it!” *
4. I would cook pork, and the next day ask, “Uh, you’re a doctor. So what are the first signs of
trichinosis?” *
5. We would have live oysters for dinner every night, cause nothing is more satisfying than
shucking 60 or 70 wet oysters. Peanut brittle for dessert.
6. I would learn to sing to whales. From my bedroom.
7. I would learn Urdu from a series of lessons on tape. So would my Urdu-speaking cats. *
8. Beekeeping. Killer beekeeping.
9. I would line my room with cellphane, chalkboards, styrofoam and bubble wrap.
10. I would become hooked on hydroponics. *
11. Three words: One man band.
12. I would cook blackened, Cajun chicken while reciting Molière and playing Renaissance dance
music at full volume. The recipe would come from a magazine. *
13. I would buy shoes made of rough-cut glass and replace the carpet with sheet metal.
14. I would sleep in a hammock made by silkworms.
15. Howler monkeys are not on the list, so I assume those are acceptable pets.
16. I would learn home dentistry and practice with the drill on squirrels.
17. I would start a home balloon-tying business and talk with helium.
18. I would wear chainmail bathrobes.
19. I would take up Primal Scream Therapy.
20. Randomly, I would require a lengthy and forceful exorcism.

These were ideas left on another blog, I think, I've had it for sometime and lost track of where I got it.

Thoughts

Having a bad day? ...1

Having a bad day?????

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am., regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 a.m.on Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents.

The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 a.m., all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Thoughts

Graffitti Monday... 7

Graffitti Monday again!

Hope I have enough of these, my camera has to go in for replacement, damn flash quit working.

Oh well, my kinda luck, have great day people.

Thoughts

48 Laws Of Power.... 17/18

Law 17

Keep Others in Suspended Terror: Cultivate an Air of Unpredictability

Humans are creatures of habit with an insatiable need to see familiarity in other people’s actions. Your predictability gives them a sense of control. Turn the tables: Be deliberately unpredictable. Behavior that seems to have no consistency or purpose will keep them off-balance, and they will wear themselves out trying to explain your moves. Taken to an extreme, this strategy can intimidate and terrorize.

Law 18

Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself – Isolation is Dangerous

The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere – everyone has to protect themselves. A fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from – it cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target. Better to circulate among people find allies, mingle. You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.


Thoughts

Things that make you go hhmm.... 21

Funerals

Puzzling, really.

A person has passed on and what do we do? We celebrate with first a "wake"?

Called a wake why?, because it is the tail end of life perhaps?

Anyway, everybody that person knew can come and see what his body looks like without him cluttering it up. When people say, "He looked so natural" , or "alive" or "youthful" or any number of other comments.

The person is DEAD! Probably the most relaxed he has been since birth but dead all the same.

They then set up a parade? I like parades but this getting stupid!

All traffic, and people have to stop to show what, respect? For someone I never met much less knew? What did they do to earn my respect? Die? That will only work if the right people die and in the way in which they should.

Sorry people, dead is dead. When I'm done crapping on and being crapped on, cook my ass in a fire to help heat someone less fortunate or just find a box and throw me in the ground somewhere out of the way and not in the prime realestate being used for cemetaries.

Again, we go hhmmm....

Thoughts

Things that make you go hhmm.... 20

2 pit bulls rescue Nebraska woman from red chow
13/04/2005 3:00:00 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) - Two dogs whose breed has a reputation for being mean played the roles of rescuers for a woman who was being attacked by another dog.

A red chow was on top of Angie Pecoraro, 22, in her yard on Monday when two pit bulls jumped over a fence and fought off the chow, Nebraska Humane Society spokeswoman Pam Wiese said.

Witnesses said the chow had bitten Pecoraro several times on her hands, arms and stomach, Wiese said.

An ambulance took Pecoraro to a hospital, where she was treated and released, Wiese said.

The Humane Society impounded the chow, and its owner was ticketed for not having the dog restrained and for harbouring a dangerous animal. It will be quarantined to make sure it doesn't have rabies, Wiese said.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OK, so where are the people who condemn the Pit Bull on this one?

There is a local radio announcer who hasn't the cahonas to even answer his own email about the subject and would not even think of mentioning this article merely because of the contrary viewpoint to his own.

Guess I should stop there before I really get into a rant......

Just another piece of the hhmmm... pie.

Thoughts

Happy HNT!

I know that the piece in front is a cat's ear and I'm not sure but I think that is another ear in the back.....

I believe my daughter took this pic, she just likes to use the camera, for anything.....

Thoughts

Things that make you go hhmm.... 19

http://www.ilikejam.dsl.pipex.com/audiophile.htm

Found this link and, man, who are the people buying this stuff?

Imagine spending over $9,000 for a cable, can anybody actually hear the difference?

Changing the knobs on the front of yer stereo can make it sound better?

Have I been working in the wrong direction with the placement of my speakers and the type and quality of my speakers not to mention the stereo components themselves?

Seems to be a little goofy to me.

These are more for them to be able to say, "I am retarded and spent $XXXXXXX on my stereo, doesn't it sound great?"

Ok now, everybody, a great big hhmmm....

Thoughts

A little humour that was sent to me....

Vampire bat

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.

He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.

"OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.

Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"